you are not alone! by Caffeine and Fairydust

Today’s You are not alone post is we’re interviewing Maz from Caffeine and Fairydust. I’ve had the pleasure of actually meeting this lovely lady a few times and she’s awesome, one of those stunning people who put on such a great show you would never think she’d be on one of my you are not alone posts. Lots of strength x

What makes you so special? 

Well, besides the fact that I am fucking fabulous… just kidding. Clinically –  I have Bipolar disorder, Schizoaffective disorder,  Depression and Chronic Insomnia

When were you diagnosed?

I have always had it, but growing up in a small town meant that I was subjected to some pretty awful psychologists who thought it was all in my head. I was properly diagnosed in 2009 by a psychiatrist who specialized in Bipolar disorder. He has been an tremendous source of support, information and comfort in the past couple of years.

Do you take anything for it?
I used to, but after endless trials and finally finding the combination that worked – we realized that it was affecting my memory really badly. I pretty much do not remember anything from the start of 2010 to mid 2011. Blank. With the constant help and support from my psychiatrist I stopped taking my medication on the condition that I would be closely monitored for the rest of my life. I am still on Valium to help with my Anxiety and every now and then I take sleeping tablets. I pretty much go through a bottle of rescue remedy a day – I literally eat them like sweets as I find they take the edge off – not much, but enough.

Any special coping mechanisms?
Meditation, healthy diet, music and daydreaming. I also have some pretty severe OCD’s that help me feel in control.

What does the number 9 smell like?
Oranges

What colour is Tuesday?
Blue

If you could give someone out there ANY advice, what would it be?
• Embrace and accept the illness.
• Take it seriously – It is sneaky and dangerous if you don’t watch it all of the time.
• You need a great support system – besides the fact that you have someone to talk to, they can also help you recognize when you might be experiencing a depressive or manic episode.
• Be kind to yourself – you cannot be too hard on yourself. “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
• Having a routine really helps
• Realize that most things other people say are not meant to hurt you
• You are not your illness. You have an individual story to tell. You have a name, a history, a personality. Staying yourself is part of the battle.

What saying get’s you through most days?
“It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.”

Tea or Coffee?
Coffee od course – not the best choice when you have Insomnia or Anxiety… or Manic episodes for that matter – but wehoooo CAFFEINE!

Draw a picture of your “issue” (or google it)…

depression

7 thoughts on “you are not alone! by Caffeine and Fairydust

  1. What a wonderful series. I hope one day I will be able to contribute. Ive been in hospital for 19 weeks and still no closer to answers. I always thought I had to project somethinf else…Other moms arent.mentally ill pffttt…I needed to read this today.

    From a borderline, complex ptsd, chronic anorexic, GAD, severe depressive disorder and for whom medication unfortunately will never heal.

    And it doesnt mean I dont love my daughter with all my heart. Sometimes it feels like people will think that if I confess my mental sins. Its been so lonely. Today perhaps for a little I dont have to be so alone.

    From
    @ lilylovepop

    1. This makes my heart ache so much Kez, sending you healing and good vibes and all the things you might need to realise that you’re an absolutely amazing person and a wonderfull mommy. If you’d be willing to be a part of the series though please let me know? much love xxx

  2. Thank you for including me… And getting me to pick ip a pencil and actually draw something for the first time in years! I have had a rough, extremely manic two weeks – this helps xxx

  3. Loooove this series I suffer from clinical depression and social anxiety and this series makes me feel like “I am not alone”

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