backlash

My post on why I homeschool seems to have weeded a few people out of my timeline.

I’ve been called childish and selfish for choosing to homeschool, that I had clearly not done any research because I don’t argue well and that Fysh will end up hating me for ruining his life.

I was not homeschooled. I attended normal government schools and did a two year stint in a private all girls school. I was subject to all the standardised tests and bullied by teachers and peers alike for my awkwardness and individuality which resulted in my rebelling in ways that got me expelled from a school. Going to a “normal” school did not help me socialise, it alienated me even more from people. My homeschooled friends say that they might disagree with many choices their parents made but homeschooling was not one of them.

The reason I do not argue well is because I have bpd and if you’ve read up on it like I suggested before you’ll know I get overly emotional and my body has an actual physical reaction to confrontation. I cry and get sick when I’m angry. This does NOT mean that I didn’t do and still do not do research on subjects.

My  belief is that everyone studies differently, just as people react to situations differently. My child does not study the way I do and I accept that and help him learn the way he absorbs knowledge best. Would a teacher in a class do that? Mine sure as fuck didn’t, I was chased out of class most of the time.

I have always parented with Fysh leading the way for most things. I chose to use cloth nappies and was ridiculed for it and yet my child was potty trained before he was 2. I taught Fysh child sign language and was told it’s detrimental, yes he only started talking after 2 but his grasp on words and conversation are beyond his age “average”.

And as my person pointed out; with their argument, following the same education system that the likes of Elon Musk applies to their children is selfish. Home schooling is the very opposite of selfish

Also, they didn’t get to know me personally, ask me any real pertinent questions as to my choices. They’ve never met my child, they haven’t seen us or interacted with us. I was just attacked with their prejudice.

Something I have decided is that unless you are willing to pay for my child’s education you really have no say. I do not judge people for sending their children to a mainstream school so I would be most appreciative if I’m not judged and told he’s going to hate me for how I educate him. And who knows, maybe at some point he decides he wants to go to a real school, if that time comes I’ll be supportive and find a way to make it happen.

There is no manual for parenting. Your main goal should be to not raise a dick that will hold their prejudices against anyone’s choices. Those prejudices play a big role in many lives lost. People who have actually met my kid say he’s awesome.

I am a good parent and I need to remember that.

11 Comments
  • Sharon
    Posted at 09:46h, 09 January

    You do not need to justify your choices!
    As long as you know you’re doing your best and your son is flourishing, nothing else matters.
    There will always be haters and people who disagree with our choices, but as long as you’re comfortable with your choices it doesn’t matter.
    Much love!
    xx

    • cupcake
      Posted at 10:20h, 09 January

      You’re right. Was just something I had to get off my chest though. Blog it and get it out otherwise it’ll eat me up.

  • Rene
    Posted at 10:13h, 09 January

    I have to admit that whenever hearing someone saying that they homeschool my first reaction is to think (note, think, not saying it) that it is not good for the kid. Arguments like the social interaction etc pops into my head, but I always lose my own arguments.

    When I think of my own situation. I went through 12 years of normal schooling and I did not learn to socially interact with anyone. I did well on my subjects but not because of the classes, but because of studying and reading on my own. In class I was usually daydreaming. In 12 years of schooling I’ve never asked a teacher a question. If I wanted to know something I went to the library and discovered it there (that was before internet). We were forced to do winter and summer sports and to take part in athletics, and I managed to get out of it all. I had 1 best friend at all times. Only when studying after school did I interact socially, but even then I preferred self study to classes.

    My husband on the other hand loved school and took part in everything. Looking at my two kids my daughter can’t wait to go home from school while the younger son begs me to let him stay longer. I know my daughter would thrive being homeschooled, but we can’t do it financially and I also know I would not make a good teacher.

    Oh and one last point. I’ve also met homeschooled people and they were all great people doing well in life.

    • cupcake
      Posted at 10:19h, 09 January

      I really do think it’s up to the person. We have a homeschool community so Fysh get’s socialisation via that and the outings that they plan. We aren’t doing sports as of yet but hoping to send him for riding lessons soon because he is absolutely besotted with horses. He loves to learn but he thrives on one on one attention. He’s like us, daydreamers. If he was put in a class with a lot of kids he would disappear and I’d be doing all the teaching at home anyway. My little brother is the same, I think he would thrive in a homeschool environment but my stepdad says not over his dead body, at least he conceded to changing from the German school.

  • lila
    Posted at 10:37h, 09 January

    Luckily he is YOUR child. And he looks like a pretty awesome one. Excuse my french but Fuck the people.

  • Lesley
    Posted at 10:44h, 09 January

    I have a friend who’s son did abysmally at “real” school and has flourished being home schooled. She does not do the teaching, it is handled by a friend who is teaching Matt and 2 other kids. Some kids fare better when part of a small group where individual attention can be given and their creativity can be given wings.

    Ultimately, your child’s education is your responsibility, and you should be able to exercise your right to school him in any way you see fit. As long as he is able to pass the GED when necessary it doesn’t matter how the education is applied.

  • Frieda Tweehuysen
    Posted at 10:54h, 09 January

    I know a few people who’ve been homeschooled and envy them! Only one had a bad experience and I believe she was left to basically homeschool herself and that’s not what is the point.

    I also disappeared in class, mostly because I was trying to avoid being noticed as that lead to teasing.

    Go for it, do what is best for YOUR CHILD!
    Good luck.

  • Carike
    Posted at 12:25h, 09 January

    Your baby. Your choice.
    Everyone always seem to have an opinion about everything.. in this instance the ONLY one that matters is yours. You know your child better than anyone else… so stuff them!

  • Karen
    Posted at 13:07h, 09 January

    I would love to homeschool my daughter! She has terrible anxiety in large classroom environments. While I love teaching her maths and science (because we both love it) I doubt my ability to teach other subjects.

  • stephanie videira
    Posted at 18:47h, 09 January

    Like u said each child learners differently and u doing whats best for ur kid, screw what other people say

  • Anthea O'Neill
    Posted at 17:21h, 10 January

    I have a day dreamer and I’m at constant loggerheads with the teachers. The like to say things like he should not have such a broad general knowledge (he reads encyclopedias for fun) and he should not look bored in class (fast learner, fast worker). Even though he is a 6/7 student! Wish I could home school him. It really is up to the type of child!

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